City Hunger

When I open my eyes, snow dust is scattered carelessly next to you. Your breasts glow blue in the moonlight. I haven’t seen such a beautiful sight in a long time. For hours, I watch the highs and lows, the ups and downs, of your being. There’s no longer a trace of the powerlessness I felt after the big quake. My head is clear, yet soaked with the cloudy thoughts of recent days. How much everything has changed - you, me, the two of us. Hugo lies nestled against your reddish-blonde hair, smiling, drooling, sleeping. An insatiable hunger claws at my innermost being. My thoughts revolve around soggy cheeseburgers, greasy pizza, and fried noodles topped with eggs, cheese, and onions.

I get up, not bothering to peck you on the forehead. The fridge is packed with beer, Red Bull, and champagne - not a trace of food anywhere. The room starts spinning. I collapse on the floor, crying, starving. The next morning, when Sina sees me curled up in front of the open fridge like an embryo in the womb, she starts kissing me and doesn’t stop until I open my eyes, take her face between my hands, and look deep into her ocean-blue eyes. Countless stars sparkle there, as if the end of the world and the meaning of life are within reach. My parents’ voices sing a cheerful song, dolphins leap in my mind’s eye. And just as I begin to unravel the mystery of it all, the doorbell rings.

Sina opens the door for the postman without bothering to cover herself. He hands her a parcel and bids us goodbye. Are you hungry? she asks. I’ll order us a pizza if you like. It takes almost an hour before I can finally eat. We sit on the couch and watch The O.C. on DVD. Sunlight streams through the windows. The TV tower looms on the horizon. When Ryan holds Marissa as she dies in his arms, I excuse myself and slide into the bathtub. Sina joins me, and we make love on the cold tiled floor. When I’m finished, she asks, Will you promise me it will stay like this forever? I nod. The package contains a camera I ordered. The first thing I photograph is Sina cleaning the bathroom.