A Storm Is Coming
When I come to again, Paula has her arms tightly wrapped around me, pressing a glass of water to my face. Another one of your nightmares, babe?
she asks softly. Her large breasts sway with every movement. The sheer presence of her being, the kisses, the stench of cheap perfume mixed with neglected hygiene, all of it intensifies my aversion to her with every shared breath. The mere fact that she has taken Sina’s place as my nightly companion leaves not the slightest doubt in my mind that something monstrously wrong is unfolding in the fabric of the universe, and that it falls upon me, and me alone, to restore the balance of our crumbling civilization. A hero is born.
I have to find her,
I say, taking a gulp of cold water. She stormed off over three months ago, screaming with rage and sobbing with hatred, and ever since, these visions have haunted me. They’re making me sick.
The room is soaked in dark, bluish-black hues. A few used syringes lie scattered beside the bed. My skin is drenched in sweat, and as I vomit off the balcony, I fantasize in vivid detail, by the thousands, how she dies. How she suffers. How helpless I am to stop it. A storm is coming. She’s your best friend, you fucking cunt!
I suddenly scream at Paula, cursing the day I ever let her into my life. The endless late-night talks, the weeping, the repeated apologies, the regret-filled sex.
Where did she even come from? And since when has she been here? She seems like a ghost that snuck in through a crack in the wall - something shapeless and persistent, like mold or guilt. I mix up reality with madness. I can’t clearly tell anymore what’s actually happening and what part of my story is just playing out inside my decaying mind. Drugs, music, girls. And through it all, there’s only one thing I really want. To have Sina back. Her laugh still echoes in the corners of this rotting apartment, her eyes stare back at me from every single surface. Paula lingers, like a parasite feeding off the ruins of what used to be love. There’s a hole in the world - and it’s shaped like Sina.