A Direction

I was feeling lost. The whole-life kind of lost where nothing makes sense and you can’t see any way forward. I’d quit this work-study thing at a nursing home because the residents stopped being easy to scare, I guess. Whatever the reason, I just couldn’t keep doing it. So I was sitting around thinking about what comes next, what I was supposed to be doing with myself.

André and Ana were both working on their Abitur. And then comes university, which has to be better than sitting at home unemployed, right? So I did what you do and Googled Abitur nachholen, clicked the first ad. ILS, distance learning. Could that be the answer?

Was this my last real shot at giving my life some kind of direction? Getting the diploma without the classroom slog, maybe with teachers who could actually teach me French instead of that one asshole? Maybe André would stop writing comments about how great it is that I’m doing nothing and just help me out.

It would cost 117 euros a month for thirty months. Unemployment assistance if I qualified. Whether the employment agency would chip in or I should just get my lazy ass to work—at least knowing what it was for—I didn’t know. But I wanted to try.

I looked at the reviews and everyone who’d done ILS said good things. So I ordered the free handbook to see what I’d be getting into. Is it worth it? Will I finish it? No idea. But at least I have a direction now. That’s the important part.