Eighteen

Happy birthday to someone who’s just turned eighteen. I want you to know that whatever you’re reaching for, you’re going to get there, but you have to go easy on yourself in the meantime. You’ve already done more than you think you have. Be proud of that.

You’ve got a good family around you. That matters more than you’ll understand until later. And there are people beyond that—people who aren’t going anywhere, who think about you and show up no matter what. When the sky goes dark and stays dark for a while, you’re going to want to remember those people are there.

Dōgen said something that’s stuck with me: your life isn’t something separate from what’s happening to you right now. It’s all the same thing. So when something hard comes at you, you don’t try to force it into what you wanted. You adapt. You make it part of who you’re becoming. You adjust yourself to the moment and keep moving.

That’s what being eighteen means, I think. You’re starting to realize your life is actually yours now. Not a rehearsal. So take it seriously, but not too seriously. Make it yours. And remember the people who are with you—you’re going to need them, and they need to know you’re thinking about them too.