Just Call Someone

Batman’s got a crisis that could be solved with one call, but it’s not going to happen. Nobody ever makes the call in movies, not when it would actually solve anything. College Humor did a whole thing about this - how screenwriters act like phones are optional technology, like we’re in some pre-digital age where you have to physically find someone to tell them something important.

And here’s the infuriating part: screenwriters aren’t being dumb. They know phones exist. They just hate them because they destroy dramatic tension. A working phone is the death of plot - real communication means no forced misunderstandings, no bad decisions made in isolation, no running around in the dark. So they kill it. Dead battery, no signal, forgot it somewhere. You need that friction to keep a story moving.

Doesn’t make it less annoying to watch. There’s something almost contemptuous about a writer making their characters worse so their plot can work. But I get it now. Phones are the enemy of drama. Which is why you’ll never see one actually help anyone in a movie.