Sinned

Got sent a sin calculator. One of those internet quizzes where you check off your transgressions and it totals up what you owe in penance. Mine came to €2,601.13.

The charges start straightforward. Drugs: €20. Lying: €15. Waking up next to someone and having no idea how I got there: €75. Then it gets heavier. Sex in a church: €100. Seeing more than one person at the same time: €200. Hiding bad grades: €30. Making a homemade sex tape: €15. The full accounting of a life that didn’t bother much with the rules.

And then the punchline. After all of that. After the drugs and the infidelity and the straight-up blasphemy. The real sin. The thing that costs the most. Stealing fruit: five cents. As if the calculator saved the actual judgment for something small and petty. As if that’s what I should really be ashamed of.