Veni, Vidi, Tumblr

A week after we launched this Tumblr thing, it’s already number one in Germany. Rainy Sunday and I’m sitting here looking at the numbers trying to make sense of it. We filled it with crude content—mostly breasts, mostly things moving, mostly the kind of garbage that shouldn’t translate to any kind of success. But apparently it does.

I want to thank whoever bribed La Aureola, Fuck Prince Charming, and Rebel Girls to stay out of our way. Paid them off in money, ice cream, and other considerations. Just kept them distracted long enough for us to grab the top spot. And to Kanye West: don’t even think about moving on us right now. You’ll regret it.

While we’re working on pushing ’What’s Your Secret?’—that Scientology song—off the international throne, the site’s basically Steve Aoki completely destroyed, Uffie, some genuinely unraveled hippies. A naked photo of an ex-girlfriend hidden somewhere in the mix, just to keep things interesting.

It’s absurd. It shouldn’t work. I’m not going to spend a lot of time wondering why it does.