The Pull
Started when I was thirteen, shooting black and white film at school. Nothing professional, just something to do. Then my grandfather died and left me his 35mm camera, and everything changed. I was obsessed—rolling through film, developing it in the darkroom, the whole ritual of it. I spent afternoons in there as a kid and loved every second. I haven’t been in a darkroom in years now and I don’t miss it, but something about that patience stuck with me.
Finished high school and went to Art Center College of Design. After graduation it was obvious: turn this into work. Strange thing is, the love hasn’t shifted. It’s different now—higher stakes, real consequences—but I still get pulled in the same way I did at thirteen.
I’ve shot everyone you can think of. M.I.A. to P. Diddy to Lykke Li to Amy Winehouse. Honestly, almost no bad experiences. Maybe I’m lucky, but I think most people soften when they feel safe. Natasha Khan and Lykke Li were both as good as you’d hope—beautiful, genuinely kind, genuinely talented. The real gift of this work is getting to meet the people you actually love and just sit with them for a day.
I don’t care about shooting famous people versus unknowns. What matters is whether someone is actually open and at ease with themselves. Could be a celebrity or nobody—doesn’t matter. The work feels best when I’m photographing someone who’s stopped worrying about looking good and just wants an interesting frame. That’s when everything flows right.
Living in New York means you’re never stable romantically. One minute you’ve quit dating for good and the next you’re completely gone for someone you just met. Funny people are my favorite kind of people. Smart funny, usually—they go together. Most of my best friends can make me laugh in that uncontrollable way, the kind that comes from somewhere deep and you can’t stop it. That’s medicine. Without laughter I’d probably be dead.
I’ve been all over Europe, spent time in Berlin, and my first impression was how gray it all was, but I loved it—relaxed, good people, great city for going out. I’d go back. Travel does something you can’t quite name. You leave as one person and come back slightly different, or maybe just more awake to who you already were.
I read magazines constantly—i-D, Purple, Dazed & Confused, Lula, Nylon, Celeste—because holding a real magazine feels better than reading online. Same with photos. I watch Mad Men religiously, love Curb Your Enthusiasm and 30 Rock. I wish Arrested Development hadn’t ended—watched an old episode last night and it’s still perfect. I’m addicted to the internet at this point, pathologically so. It’s all information, inspiration, endless entertainment. Can’t imagine living without it anymore.
Music drives the work. I listen to everything. The XX’s album was one of my favorites that year, same with The Horrors. Radiohead’s probably my favorite band, as far as current stuff goes. Drove across the entire country just to catch six of their shows when they toured. When I’m shooting I need fast, high-energy tracks to keep it moving—usually chaos on my playlists, but I love them.
What I want now is to make music videos. I’ll always shoot, but directing videos—that’s the thing that pulls me.