Shave The Queen

Package arrived this morning with no return address. First thought was bomb. I spent a solid ten minutes carefully unwrapping it, totally convinced my right hand was about to get shredded, which seemed bad. Felt stupid even as I was doing it.

Out came a Gillette Venus. A women’s razor. That was the whole thing.

Apparently routed through some Heidi Klum setup I don’t understand. But yeah, free women’s razor in the mail.

The randomness is what sticks with me. Someone in a marketing office decided to spend actual money mailing this to an address. To me. It’s not even that it’s useless—I mean, it is—but it’s the fact that the decision got made and nobody apparently stopped it. No double-check, no wait, we’re sending what to who?

Nintendo, Ferrari, Apple—you’re watching a women’s razor company outwork you.