Barely Anything at All

Two weeks of Berlin gray and everyone looks like they’re about to ask for a blood donation. So naturally, Victoria’s Secret decides to sell a topless bikini—just two black straps and the rest of your hope that nobody’s mother is nearby.

For $68 you’re basically paying for permission to be topless at the beach while still technically wearing a bikini. It’s a fashion thing—makes no logical sense, which is the whole point. The ads were fine. The model was fine. None of it really mattered.

But here’s what actually gets me: someone looked at a bikini and thought, You know what this needs? Less. And then other people agreed with them. And then they manufactured it and priced it and shipped it into the world. That takes a kind of confidence that I respect, even though the entire idea is completely stupid. You don’t buy something like this because you need it. You buy it because it exists and because wearing it says something about who you are. Probably that you’re either too comfortable with your body or too bad at reading the room. Either way, at least the company’s being honest.

On a gray day in Berlin, there’s something great about that kind of stupid honesty. You’re not being sold a lie. You know exactly what you’re getting—barely anything at all—and you’re buying it anyway. That’s kind of beautiful, actually.