Sonic’s Last Chance

Mario’s a short guy with a terrible job. His girlfriend keeps getting kidnapped by mohawked turtles, he self-medicates with magic mushrooms just to get through his day, and he crawls through filthy pipes scrounging for coins. What kind of existence is that? Sonic was supposed to be different—blue, fast, those red shoes that actually meant something. A hedgehog that didn’t need to apologize.

But Sega fell apart, and Sonic fans got stuck. Every game after that was worse than the one before. Sonic driving a car. Sonic in armor. Sonic as a puzzle game. It was the kind of disaster that should’ve had people marching on their headquarters, but I just kept showing up, kept hoping, kept getting disappointed. You learn to expect nothing after a while.

Then Sonic the Hedgehog 4 got announced. Back to the basics—colorful levels, real speed, barely any story. Better graphics, faster controls, everything polished. It seemed stupid to believe in it after so many false starts, but I wanted to. I still had my Sonic plushies somewhere. My Sonic blanket in the closet. I kept thinking maybe this time they’d actually pull it off.