Dirty Bitch

I met up with Sarah for coffee. She wanted to talk about women—what they actually are under the surface, about sex and desire and all the lies we tell. Blond, pretty in an unremarkable way, student, blue eyes. She smoked between sips of her cold coffee and chewed her fingernails. If you passed her on the street you wouldn’t think twice.

Maybe an hour in, after talking about her pants and egg salad and nothing, she just said it. Women are dirty sluts. We’re pigs, actually. She was looking right at me. We want hard sex. We want threesomes. We want filthy things whispered in our ears while someone fucks us. I love hard sex. She held the eye contact long enough that I had to look away. I started grinning like an asshole.

My brain went nuts. What had this girl actually done? What had she let happen, or made happen? The waitress passed by with more coffee. Sarah kept going. Every sweet little polite girl you see? Inside she’s a filthy bitch. She’s basically just a man without a cock, which somehow makes her less predictable, more dangerous. She was enjoying watching me squirm.

You’re actually serious? came out hoarse. She smiled. Last weekend I slept with seven people in 48 hours. Two of them were my best friends. We do it all the time. Threesome with Mexican exchange students. Once in an elevator in Marzahn with my brother’s best friend. Mostly bathrooms. Our apartment. Wherever. I had to leave. Staying there another minute and I’d do something stupid.

I paid for both of us while not thinking about pushing her against the table and fucking her right there. She kissed my cheek, said she’d text me, and pedaled away on her bike. I watched her for a few minutes. Just pictures in my head. That kind of girl—there wasn’t anything else I wanted.

She sent the photo that night. No message, no warning. A small black heart tattooed next to her mons pubis, on the right side. I liked it. I took a long bath to let the afternoon settle, dried off and sent the photo to her boyfriend. Smiled like a devil. Cracked a beer. Dirty bitch.