Weekend Missions
I’m in the office with beer and sun coming through the windows. We’ve got maybe fifteen minutes before someone—probably me—jumps into the flooded conference room. We know we should be professional about it. We never are.
I found this list of ridiculous missions from somewhere, and I figured they were worth dusting off if you’re going to be bored over Easter. Rearrange Andreas’s furniture while he’s still at home—write your will first. There’s something to the idea that some people only look good from behind, so don’t turn around. Someone here managed two and a half hours on the non-stop Nyan Cat thing. The office plant we called Billy basically witnessed all our terrible decisions. Being more like Bender wouldn’t be the worst thing. Mom would appreciate it.
Listen to Uffie’s Wordy Rappinghood
and Santigold’s Go
and pick between them, then record the winner onto a cassette for your grandmother. Rent Liechtenstein for the night if you’ve got fifty thousand euros burning a hole in your pocket. Sleep with your best friend’s mother. Pure chaos and stupid, but it definitely works.
I should get back to work. The conference room’s still waiting.