Ten Little Missions

That weekend was rain, properly—thunder and gray everything, the kind of weather that makes you want to disappear. I had this old list called Ten Little Missions, made for exactly this kind of day, so I decided to work through it while the sky fell.

One: Put SBTRKT’s self-titled album on repeat. Do something romantic enough that all your candles light themselves. Two: Dance in the rain until it stops, then spend the rest of the day feeling empty and pointless. Three: Get everyone you know to play Lego with you, like you’re all eight. Four: Commit to every couch-potato thing at once—bath, movie, popcorn, sleep for twelve hours straight. Five: Change your gum, finally. Even I couldn’t stand the same flavor anymore.

Six: Drive out to Buchloë and confirm there’s no reason to go back. Seven: Download the new OS X Lion and then beat your monitor for an hour over backwards scrolling and spell-check that won’t shut up. Eight: You know. It’s the best position. Nine: Grow a third nipple and name it Harry. Ten: Order from every food delivery service you can find at the same time and let it arrive all at once.

I probably only made it through number six before giving up, which I think was the point.