Exactly Right

In a city like this you get lost fast. You’re drowning in a sea of lonely faces—everywhere you look, mouths and hands and breath, someone’s breath in your ear at the club. But then you find people who understand, who actually pull you back up, and you look at them and smile and they smile back and that’s when something clicks.

I’ve made peace with how I look in photos by now. Stopped blaming angles and light, started blaming stress and gray hair coming in and the bags under my eyes, which is at least honest. That terrible picture from the weekend doesn’t prove I wasted anything—it proves the opposite. It was exactly right. Right amount of chaos, right amount of rest, surprises mixed in.

Friday we danced at Luzia with A MILLION and Nike, with Wenke and Julia and Fanni and Paulchen and Meltem and Thang and Janos and Nadja and BJ. Then I needed the rest of the days to come down. Walks along the Spree with girls I actually like, talking about what comes next. Carrot cake from The Barn on a couch with good friends watching Indiana Jones. Sunrises from different windows. New music. Slipping into other people’s heads. The smell of everything.

You need days like that. Not optional. They keep you sane when the world’s moving this fast. You’re drowning in a crowd and everyone else is drowning too but then you find people who get it and they pull you back, and you look at them and smile, and they smile back.