XCOM Enemy Unknown

Winter’s the best excuse. Gray skies, rain that won’t quit, the sun showing up just to laugh at you. The kind of weather where you don’t feel guilty spending the whole day in front of a screen eating cookies from the family pack while some new game does whatever it does.

XCOM Enemy Unknown was that game. I’d describe it as what happens if Mass Effect and Civilization had a tactical child. You pick missions across Earth, send squads of soldiers to fight these slimy aliens, research technology, promote your people, make decisions that make some countries happy and others furious, then you’re clicking through turn-based combat until alien heads start exploding.

It’s actually pretty good. The problem is that half your team dies in your first real mission and you’re genuinely devastated because you wanted more time with that woman and her machine gun. Then everything accelerates: kidnappings in China, some alien attack in the US, and back at base there’s this scientist who sounds like she’s perpetually on the verge of falling asleep. Sleep well, doc.

The game steals from everything—deep strategy, roster management that makes you care who lives and dies, tech trees that feel meaningful, real tactical stakes. What doesn’t work is the story. It’s just thin. I kept thinking about what a real alien invasion would need, and it’s definitely more imagination. Dress up as Santa. Offer free beer and t-shirts to get people on the ships. Launch a TV station and rot our brains out slowly. Get weird with it.

Not a game for the ADHD Call of Duty kids. You need patience for the enemy’s turn, and most people would use that time to punch a wall instead. I had fun with it. Whether I’d actually play through the whole thing, no idea. Either way, if you’re curious, check out the demo. Fuck those aliens.