Google Maps Again

I never understood the hate for Apple’s Maps when it first came out. Looked fine to me, seemed like it would work. Then one afternoon I’m running through Charlottenburg like a maniac because I’m late for some business meeting, and the app just keeps loading and loading, keeps showing nothing but white space, keeps crashing. That’s when I got it. The thing doesn’t work.

By that logic, Apple ruined my life. I was supposed to meet some manager on Kantstraße, make real money, set myself up. Instead I’m standing outside an import shop ten blocks away, so I blew the meeting, so no fortune, no beach house, no woman who could have changed everything. All I have is a plastic keychain with a dragon on it.

I was too lazy to add Google Maps to my home screen either, so I spent months living with this background anxiety that my phone would either lose me somewhere or make me angry enough to destroy it. I was close to that. The phone seemed ready for it.

Then Google Maps came back. As an app on iOS. It’s beautiful and it works and I want to take it on a picnic, invite it on a date by the river, find some isolated cabin in the mountains and just ravish it completely.