Ten Little Missions
ACTA protests are happening. I’m supposed to march, stand in the rain, care visibly. And I do care, but the weekend’s already booked. Sunday’s recovery. But if you’re the kind of person who finds time in the cracks, here’s what kept running through my head.
Download the entire Pirate Bay database. Ninety megabytes. Memorize it. Let it settle there permanently. Find an eating contest that donates to hunger relief and actually do it—hot dogs, sandwiches, whatever they’re serving. Stuff your face for a cause.
Break into a girls’ boarding school at midnight wearing a blonde wig. What happens next is entirely up to you. Collect menstrual blood in mason jars and don’t ask me why, because I don’t have an answer. Sit next to someone who looks exactly like Cartman and just mess with him until he’s genuinely pissed off and leaves.
Hug a tree. It’s cold. Probably wants company. Celebrate that it’s been a year since Rebecca Black uploaded Friday.
That song, that whole bizarre peak, happened on a day like today. Watch Comic Book Men. It’s about comics and nostalgia, the stuff I care about.
Save Macaulay Culkin. From drugs, from obscurity, from whatever he’s lost to. Get him food. Red Bull. Just make sure he exists. And then actually write on your blog. Some Israeli psychologists did a study—teenagers who keep a blog are emotionally more balanced, socially competent. It’s real. So write something.