Stuck at Easter
Easter trapped me at home. Nothing open, family everywhere, sister won’t leave me alone. The kind of day where you’d normally escape but instead you’re just sitting there watching time die. So I made a stupid list of things to do.
First: if you’ve got work due next week, actually do it. Stop scrolling, put the phone away, set a deadline and work. It’s the most obvious advice until you’re actually this bored, and then everyone’s picking up their phone every thirty seconds. Just sit down and finish it.
Send someone a message who’s having a worse day than you. Doesn’t need to be profound, doesn’t need to be long. Just say you’re thinking about them. It helps.
Stop posting the reflexive horny stuff, the performance of taste, the recycled jokes. Buy ice cream instead. Your brain will thank you.
Actually spend time with what you find attractive. Micaela Schäfer, whoever gets you off. Look at it properly instead of scrolling past. Stop pretending you’re above having desires—just be honest about it.
Watch Lana Del Rey’s music videos and pay attention to how she moves. There’s something about the way she inhabits a scene that makes boredom look interesting.
Give your friends terrible nicknames and use them everywhere. At work, in front of their parents, when they’re trying to impress someone. It breaks the agreement that we all take ourselves seriously.
Follow a cat around your neighborhood for a day. Just follow it. Where does it go? What does it actually do when nobody’s watching? There’s more drama in that than in most things worth paying attention to.
Try to understand what other people actually want. Not what they say they want—what they’re constantly thinking about, what they keep going back to. Genuine curiosity about how someone else thinks is better than any social feed.
Call someone you haven’t talked to in years. Tell them what’s been happening, complain about stupid stuff, ask them for something you know they can’t give you. There’s honesty in that kind of conversation.
Wear something ridiculous. Give yourself permission to be actually weird. Throw eggs at annoying kids if you want. Do things that don’t make sense to anyone but you.