Kalen Hollomon’s Masterpiece

Kalen Hollomon draws dicks on white clothing. He takes it seriously—you can tell. This shirt is probably his peak work: Bro’s Before Ho’s in slightly crooked English, with illustrations flanking it that leave absolutely nothing to interpretation.

The phrase is the kind of thing guys say in group chats when someone’s disappearing into a relationship. A crude loyalty oath. It’s not about disrespect to women—it’s about that very specific, unexamined bond between lifelong friends, the kind of friendship where you’ve known each other long enough that it feels stupid to have to justify why you’re hanging out instead of pursuing something romantic. The shirt gets that.

What makes the design work is the commitment to the crude register. No trying to be clever or ironic. The lettering’s wonky, the drawings are straightforward, everything sits at exactly the same level of obvious crudeness. It doesn’t try to wink at you.

Seeing these in photos from a few years back, it reads like a very specific artifact—not timeless, not entirely dated either. Just a shirt that knew what it was doing and didn’t apologize for it.