News in Dub

There’s always this moment in the evening where the news comes on and you just… don’t move. Too tired to find the remote. Too worn out to care what happened in the world. The newscaster goes through their cadence and somewhere by the third story about parliament or whatever, you’re half asleep.

Some guy (Bay Ctoast?) figured out what was actually happening and just leaned into it. Took the news and delivered it like reggae—pure Shaggy vibes, dub and dancehall rhythms applied to the day’s catastrophes. Angela Merkel reduced to a vocal line in a dubstep remix. The whole apparatus that’s supposed to convince you something matters, just turned into background music.

Which is kind of honest, actually. The news wants to feel urgent and important. And someone just decided, no, what if we just grooved about it instead? Made every headline sound like a riddim. The form just eats the content. Or maybe it just shows what the content always was—ambient noise pretending to be information.

I never saw the full thing, just clips. But that was enough. The idea was funnier than any execution could be.