Everyone’s Actually Horny

Someone made a website that shows which of your Facebook friends signed up for Bang With Friends, an app that let you discreetly ask people you know if they wanted to have sex. Supposedly anonymous. Turns out it wasn’t.

Bang With Friends existed because meeting people for sex is hard. Genuinely hard, especially if you’re not spending every night at clubs or built like a model. The app promised to cut straight to it—browse your friends, flag the ones you’re into, and if they flagged you back, you could just go have sex. No pretense required.

Then Bang With Friends Exposed appeared, which just lists who signed up. So you can check your friends and see exactly who’s actually out there trying to hook up. Your boss. Your girlfriend. Your mom. Whoever. The mystery’s gone.

I could tell you who I saw on there, but most of them probably don’t care. That’s the whole thing with hookup apps—everyone’s horny, everyone knows everyone’s horny, the only real secret is just not having to say it out loud. And if my name shows up on your friends list, I’m telling you right now it was research. Obviously.