Cool, Cooler, Scarlett Johansson

She’s pregnant right now—not by me, obviously—but that doesn’t change anything. Scarlett Johansson is still the coolest person alive. There she is on the cover of Dazed & Confused in Wolford, Saint Laurent, and Levi’s 501.

All I want is to walk up to her, stammer like a complete idiot in her face, and tell her she’s the coolest fucking human being in the world, then go back to playing Pokémon online. Hopefully she doesn’t beat me up for being such an uncool nerd.