When Resignation Wears Thin

Ten years I’ve been at this. Putting work out there, inviting people to discuss it, think about it, just sit around talking about pop culture or whatever else lands. And for ten years I’ve watched strangers unload their worst thoughts in the comments. Something about the internet gives permission. You open a door and everyone who’s had a bad day suddenly has a target.

I talked to Kelly—MissesVlog—a while back. She seemed like someone who’d made peace with it, figured out the math, decided the noise was worth what she was doing. But something snapped. She made a video about the dark side of YouTube and she’s actually crying. Not performing, not playing it up. Real tears. What she’s asking for is almost nothing: a second of thought before typing something cruel.

If you feel the need to hurt a stranger, she feels bad for you. Not angry. Sorry. Which is somehow worse.

When I interviewed her before, she had this almost generous way of looking at it. A friend told her something she believed: people have bad days, come home angry, and need somewhere to dump that anger that won’t get them arrested. The comments section becomes the trash can. She was at peace with that then, or at least resigned. But resignation wears thin.

If her video makes even one person close the browser instead of typing something cruel, something changes. They could collect stamps, stare at a wall, anything but send cruelty into the void. Probably won’t happen. But she’s asking. Begging, really. That has to matter.