Different

This video made the rounds of Japanese women saying they’d date foreign guys. The setup’s transparently built on a fantasy—the one where being Western, foreign, and vaguely interesting-because-you’re-different automatically means something. The video basically says: no, that’s not how it works. Attraction is specific, individual, indifferent to your origin story.

Should’ve been obvious. It was obvious. Except hearing it from women felt different than just knowing it was true.

I’ve spent years pulling visual language from Japanese culture—in design work, in what I look at, in what I’m into sexually if I’m being honest. Somewhere I confused my attraction to the culture with what women from that culture might want from me. Which is stupid when you say it out loud, but takes longer to actually feel stupid about it.

The funny part is the video didn’t kill what I’m attracted to. It just made it less interesting because it made it more real. Less about me and some fantasy version of Tokyo, more about actual women who don’t exist to confirm anything about me.

Which is probably better. Just doesn’t feel like it.