Ten Little Missions

Every Friday I make a list. Ten things to do, ten small reasons to think the weekend might be worth something. Here’s what I’ve got this week.

Charli XCX covered Shake It Off and it’s better than it has any right to be. Taylor’s version is in your head already, burned there by radio and grocery stores, but XCX does something that makes it sound fresh again. Different vibe entirely. Good for driving.

Don’t buy the Kanye Yeezy 750 Boosts. They look like the corrective shoes my friend had to wear in grade school because one leg was shorter than the other. I genuinely don’t know who asked Kanye for these or why he delivered—he’s usually got good taste but he committed to making something aggressively terrible. Almost impressive, honestly.

There’s a party at Prince Charles called I ♥ Engtanz if you’re in Berlin. It’s for people who want to stand physically close to strangers without it feeling weird. Starts at eight. Get dressed up a little. The whole concept is just proximity and music as an excuse to be bodies in the same room.

Fap Fapp is an app for…well, the name says it. It teaches you things about spending time alone. That’s the entire product. No judgment, just existence.

Riot Simulator exists so you can destroy things with no consequences. You’re the crowd, everything else is an obstacle. That’s the design and it’s weirdly satisfying.

Read If You Aren’t Rich by 45, Give Up because it tells you something true: time is the real enemy, not effort or luck. You’re in a race that started before you were paying attention and the finish line is visible. The prize is waiting—a nice house, a nice life, the quiet contentment of trying hard enough. Pick your move now while you still can.

Silicon Valley season 2 is coming and I’m more excited about it than seems reasonable. These people and their terrible startup deserve more episodes.

Stop shaving completely. All of it. Seriously think about the hours you’ve spent removing hair from yourself or paying someone else to. That’s time you could use for literally anything else. More hair is objectively better.

Eat only blue food all weekend. Blueberries, ice cream, a döner soaked in food coloring. Make it work. You probably won’t wake up as a Smurf but the idea is funny enough.

There’s a Tumblr called 35-24-35 that’s thin women in very small bikinis and nothing else. I’m sitting here with a burger dripping on my stomach watching people who’d never eat one, and something about that feels honest. Friday night as it actually happens.