The Unfairness

Chrissy Teigen is the kind of person who makes Twitter actually interesting. The way she operates online is different from anyone else. She can destroy someone in a reply and it’s so precise, so measured, that you’re almost impressed at being roasted. It’s not the polite put-down kind of wit. It’s not even the cruel kind that makes you feel bad. It’s the kind that lands so perfectly you have to respect it.

She’s also smart in a way that matters. I don’t mean she knows a lot of facts or can quote things. I mean she actually thinks about stuff and has opinions that feel earned, not performed. You watch her get into a conversation and she’s not trying to be clever—she’s just saying what she thinks, and it happens to be both funny and right.

The obvious thing is that she’s beautiful. That’s just a fact. But Sports Illustrated doesn’t hire you for the Maldives shoot unless you’re serious. And so there she is, in a bikini, on a beach somewhere most people will never go, having the time of her life. While the rest of us are outside in January scraping ice off windshields.

It’s genuinely unfair. The whole setup is unfair. She’s witty and smart and attractive and living a life that feels like it exists in a different universe from everyone else’s. Anyone who claims the world is fair is either delusional or has never been paying attention.