Cassie’s Almost Too Much

I could talk about Cassie’s musical accomplishments, her creative vision, the genius of how she navigates the music industry. That would be the smart thing, the right thing, the non-sexist thing. And it would also be completely honest in some abstract sense.

But honestly? I just want to cover her in maple syrup and spend a few weeks licking her clean. Everywhere. I mean everywhere. I’d probably do that until we ended up married in Hawaii or a tactical team had to pull me out of a basement while I’m screaming Wait for me, Cassie! at full volume.

Since that’s sexist and gross and almost certainly illegal, I’m resigned to just watching her Don’t Play It Safe music video over and over, which is what I’m going to do anyway. Though maybe I should keep a bottle of maple syrup around. Just in case the rules change.