Hooded Skirt

I’m not the type to dismiss fashion. I show up outside boutiques at seven in the morning for a drop, spend half a month’s salary on whatever seems essential that week. The cycle moves on in a couple weeks but in those weeks you believe.

So when H&M’s new Moschino piece genuinely confused me, understand that’s from someone who pays attention to clothes. I looked at this product listing multiple times trying to figure out what I was seeing. It’s a 40-euro skirt with a hood. A skirt. With a hood. H&M: Short skirt in lightweight organic cotton sweatshirt fabric with a decorative, double-layered drawstring hood at the top. Full-length two-way zip, side pockets, and ribbed hem.

The skirt itself is fine. Normal. But why the hood exists, I have no idea. What’s the practical function? Is H&M assuming my ass is large enough it needs protective covering? Built for people with bizarre proportions where the lower half flows directly into the head? Maybe the hood isn’t meant for the lower body at all—maybe you pull it up over your chest and that’s the whole play?

I’ve stared at the photos trying to reverse-engineer the logic. There’s nothing there. Just a hood sewn onto a skirt’s waistband. The randomness is almost impressive—someone threw this out as a joke in a design meeting and nobody had the nerve to kill it before production.

Maybe that’s where fashion is now. Just throw things out and see who’s contrarian or bored enough to wear them. I’d probably buy this just to understand the intention, assuming one exists.