Time to Grow Up

Since I started attending college, my entire circle of friends consists of fellow students. On the surface, that wouldn’t seem like a problem. They’re all great people with their own dreams, hopes, and goals, and I’ve grown close to some of them over time. We’ve partied all night, sunbathed by the lake, cooked meals, danced, played tabletop RPGs, watched old anime, and had deep conversations about the meaning of life. The time I spend with them means a lot to me. But I’m starting to realize that the age difference between us is causing some interpersonal friction. I’m 40 now, and most of them are around 20. Let’s be honest - that’s not a healthy dynamic.

We celebrated my birthday at a trendy city bar a few days ago, and we had a great time. Expensive drinks, loud music, and a few colorful substances. But it didn’t escape me that I was the oldest person there. I couldn’t flirt with any of the girls without feeling like a creep. Beyond that, I generally avoid developing feelings for my fellow students beyond friendship, no matter how much I might want to at times. Otherwise, I’d feel like I was betraying their trust. But since I do miss being in a romantic relationship, I now feel a bit trapped in this adolescent world. Reality is reminding me that I can’t keep hiding in my imaginary shell forever.

It’s time to grow up. I need to expand my circle of friends and meet people who will help me grow, mentally and emotionally. People with whom I can form the intimate connections that aren’t possible in my current environment. Maybe I need to join a book club, hunt for vintage treasures, or volunteer for a cause. Or maybe I should go to places that attract people my age, like jazz bars, horse races, or wine tastings. Or perhaps simply being more mindful and open to new encounters as I move through the world will help. The key is not to get too comfortable with my current situation. Otherwise, I’ll miss out on opportunities that are waiting just out of sight.