Ring in the Lip, Nowhere to Go

There are stretches where I could write ten posts a day, and then weeks where I feel like a dead channel—nothing to report, nothing that feels worth putting into words. I’m out of the phase where I’d publish some apocalyptic teenage mood piece just to feel like I existed. That’s something, I guess.

New lip ring, two weeks ago now. It’s a hoop. I like it. I’m also sitting through some vocational prep course and have absolutely no clearer idea of what I want to do with my life—which is funny, because the course’s entire premise is that it’ll help you figure that out. My instinctive hostility toward the whole structure of work and what it demands from a person hasn’t softened much. Maybe the job I want doesn’t exist yet. Maybe I should do something in media design, or something social, or something else entirely. I have no idea, and the uncertainty isn’t romantic at this point, it’s just annoying.

I’ve always stumbled into things rather than chosen them. Some invisible hand, indifferent and mostly reliable, has dropped me where I needed to be often enough that I keep half-expecting it to do it again. Either it’s taking longer this time, or it already has and I haven’t noticed. Very much not a religious observation.

Watching Mittermeier now. Then Lost. Then Bully & Rick. That’s the whole plan and it’s a perfectly good one.