Marcel Winatschek

Five Suits, No Platform

The SPD lost Schröder, watched Merkel walk straight into the chancellery, and then—purely as a finishing move—animal rights activists started protesting the party’s ad campaign because it featured a cow in red stockings. At some point you have to wonder whether a political party can actually die of embarrassment.

Apparently not, because Power Rangers SPD exists. Same four letters. The show’s heroes toppled Lord Zedd and Ivan Ooze in their time, so maybe there’s precedent for a comeback. I give it about the same odds as the SPD’s polling numbers.