Sash

There was a moment in the early 2010s when alternative culture felt like it was taking over the internet. Not in a commercialized way—genuinely alternative. SuicideGirls was huge then, this platform for people who didn’t fit the mainstream look. Sash was my favorite. She had this unguarded blog where she’d post whatever crossed her mind, make jokes, share photos. Beautiful photos, yeah, but there was something about the whole thing that felt honest in a way most internet stuff wasn’t.

She was from California, did the MySpace circuit like everyone else then. Got offers for shoots and modeling work, the kind of thing that usually means nothing. But she decided to just do it herself. Partnered with a photographer named Cymagen and they built SashSuicide.com. Just her and her work, no gatekeepers between her and whoever wanted to look.

I remember thinking that was the real shift happening. SuicideGirls had been this incredible thing, actual curation, but eventually everyone figures out they can have their own site. Cut out the middleman. It felt radical at the time—owning your own image literally and figuratively.

The thing about her was this mix of severity and thoughtfulness. The leather, the tattoos, the sexuality laid bare, but she was vegetarian, thoughtful about how she moved through the world. These contradictions are what made her seem like a person instead of a product or a category.

I don’t think about her much anymore. The internet left that moment behind. Everything got safer, more sortable, more algorithmic. SuicideGirls still exists but it’s not what it was. That window when alternative culture felt like it was actually winning, when you could stumble onto strangeness and beauty in your browser without trying—that’s closed now. Sash was part of that brief time when weird didn’t need permission.