What October’s Made Of
Things I’m done with this month: club nights where half the crowd ends up vomiting. Ballet flats, which are quietly giving an entire generation of people ugly flat feet and I wish someone would say it louder. The concept of group sex in autumn—it’s cold outside, just be romantic for once. Microsoft’s helpline charging nearly ninety euros per call, which is so insulting I’ve simply decided to hate them as a standing policy. Britney Spears, who I want to go home and rest. Rhinos energy drink, which is sugar water with a rhinoceros logo pushing it. The entire internet going into cardiac arrest over Vanessa Hudgens’ leaked photos—they’re just tits and an unshaved pussy, please regain some composure. A residual fear of YouTube that certain people are still nursing. Clever, good-looking Nazis, who are categorically more dangerous than the dumb ugly kind. Perfectionism used as a reason not to finish anything—I recognize it in myself and still hate it. Making decent money while not really knowing what you’re doing (also me, largely). Google, which has probably been managing our thoughts for longer than we’d care to admit. The artist who has been tattooing live pigs. The blog tactic of seeding posts with sexual keywords just to pull in traffic—fucking, blowjob, anal, fender—you see how it works. And whatever Bill did or didn’t do: truly no one cares, and neither do I.
What I actually want right now: the second-generation iPod Nano, which we all secretly agree looks better than the first. In Our Bedroom After the War by Stars, which is going to be one of those records. Finally watching Ratatouille after months of meaning to. Mián Mián’s novel Panda Sex. Old childhood photos of people I love—there’s something in those I can’t explain and don’t need to. Emma Cooper’s photography. Pixelmator, which won’t defeat Photoshop but understands something about what design tools should feel like. The announced t.A.T.u. film, which has already sent me back through their back catalog. NOTCOT. The strange, dense illustrations of Ronald Kurniawan. My Little Dead Dick. Ai Otsuka’s LOVE PiECE. Apple’s Leopard, finally arriving this month. And Jenny.