Use Your Brain

I didn’t drink myself into the floor yesterday, which meant I actually had the energy today to push through an overcrowded Berlin—past charity street hawkers blocking the pavement, potential football hooligans milling around corners, and a subspecies of kleptomaniac emos—to finally buy the clothes I’d been putting off for weeks.

The haul: a white tee with a girl on it who looks uncomfortably like Miley Cyrus, a red-white-and-blue plaid flannel that’s basically identical to one of my dish towels at home but sits perfectly under a black sweater, and—the real reason I went out at all—a N.E.R.D. shirt from H&M’s Designers Against AIDS collection, which also came with free condoms featuring Katy Perry and Tokio Hotel on the packaging. Obviously I’m now a fully credentialed fashion person.