Marcel Winatschek

Better Than Sex

The hot brownie with ice cream at Burger King is better than sex. I’m saying this plainly, without irony, as someone who has experienced both and is capable of ranking them. Warm, dense chocolate base, cold vanilla collapsing into it, that specific temperature gradient that exists for maybe forty-five seconds before everything becomes one lukewarm thing—those forty-five seconds are worth whatever dignity it costs to order dessert at a fast food counter.

Whoever invented this deserves a monument. Bronze. Public square. Visible from the motorway. And if they ever pull it from the menu, I will be inconsolable in a way I’d be embarrassed to admit about almost anything else. Some pleasures are small and real and irreplaceable. Don’t even think about it.