Wheelchairs, Nipples, Human Poodles

Russia’s press had already labeled her a prostitute by the time the Paparazzi video dropped, and watching it, it’s difficult to argue they were working without evidence. Lady Gaga—with that Prince Valiant pageboy cut that somehow works on her—released a seven-minute anti-narrative built from sex, wheelchairs, crutches, and backup dancers dressed as human poodles. There is, apparently, also a nipple in there.

Basti swears he caught a flash of it, buried somewhere between the disability iconography and the choreography. I believe him. What else would you be watching a Gaga video for at this point. Watch it, download the ringtone, delete the ringtone. The sequence is inevitable.