The Things People Type in the Dark

Every few weeks I scroll through the search queries that deposit strangers at the door of this journal. It is always—without exception—illuminating in the worst possible way. Here, for the record, is a recent selection of what people typed to find me.

I had sex with my sister. Porn stars leave the church. Does sex make you die sooner? You’re ugly. Hookers in Tokyo. Vasta naked. Tongue doctor. Smoking fucking. Marcel best pornstar. Mister Gaga. Does it hurt your first time? What do the numbers on a condom mean? I smell like fish. Sick tits. Teens in mud. Who did Harry Potter kiss first in the films. Pants down, legs apart.

Blog similar to Titty City. Hairy genitals. What happens to my belly after losing weight? Types of vaginas. Printable leopards. Better than Last Night’s Party. The MTV video with the drunk guy fucking a slut. Everything for the Horde. Shit on a conveyor belt. Wide-open ass. Naked freckles.

My readership, everybody. I’m genuinely moved.