The Queue Starts Here

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom announced their separation—six years together, three of them married, one kid, and then the usual careful PR statement about mutual decisions made months ago and now finally made public. It has the texture of a press release because it is one. Bloom’s half was probably drafted by a publicist.

Kerr is thirty, Australian, a Victoria’s Secret model—precisely the kind of person whose love life produces involuntary math in the brain. She is now single, which is technically news and also completely meaningless to everyone hearing it, including me. The queue has formed. I am somewhere near the end of it, behind most of the planet, and I’m at peace with that.