The Case Against Cold Butter

Every other morning I destroy a piece of toast trying to spread butter straight from the fridge. You press too hard, the bread buckles, the corner snaps off, and you end up eating structural rubble with cold butter lumps sitting on top of it like uninvited guests. It’s a fixable problem. I’ve just never fixed it.

The Easy Butter, from Japanese shop Metex, is exactly what it sounds like: a semi-automatic device styled like a cheese grater that takes a stick of cold butter and shreds it into fine, even ribbons directly onto whatever you’re covering. Thin enough to melt immediately on contact. No violence, no structural casualties. I found out about it through Kotaku, of all places, which apparently covers breakfast now.

It costs almost nothing. It solves a problem I’ve had my entire adult life. I know exactly what I’m asking for this Christmas.