Marcel Winatschek

The Cure You Didn’t Know You Needed

The concept was a pill called Unpretentiousil, indicated for the treatment of chronic hipsterism. Symptoms include compulsive use of the word "authentic," owning a typewriter you’ve never successfully operated, and describing your food in situations where no one asked. Two capsules with water, twice daily, and within weeks you’d be capable of liking things without needing to explain why you liked them first—without the credentials check, the ironic distance, the performative ambivalence about popularity. The joke worked because it contained a real anxiety, not about hipsters specifically but about the exhausting theatre of taste and the way certain subcultures turn pleasure into a competitive exercise. The catch, of course, is that the cure requires admitting you need it, which means it would never work on anyone who actually does. That’s the whole punchline. It’s always the whole punchline.