I Bought a PlayStation Vita
My 14-year-old self would be insanely proud of me today. I just bought my very first video game console directly in Japan, in a game shop—specifically a PlayStation Vita. And that’s despite passionate industry experts now hyperventilating and virtually screaming in my face: Are you completely insane?! That thing is dead—like, as dead as it gets, you idiot!
Actually, I originally wanted a Nintendo 3DS. But first, the 3D effect bores me; second, the two screens bore me; and third, most of the games bore me. Nintendo just isn’t Nintendo anymore. And here’s the even worse part: if I had bought the thing here, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything with it once I got back home to Germany. Because of regional codes and all that. Pikachu, suck my dick!
And everyone always says, But you’ve got an iPhone, you don’t need handhelds anymore—every game is available on Apple devices anyway.
Yeah right, my ass. First, the screen is way too small to actually see anything properly; second, 99 percent of it is some kind of casual garbage game; and third, even there something truly amazing only comes out once every few jubilee years.
So: a PlayStation Vita. Why? (This is going to be the ultimate list post…) First, because the price on the thing was just slashed so much that it was sold out all across Shibuya, and I managed to grab an even further discounted display unit. In black. Wi-Fi only. Second, I can play all kinds of games on it—from anywhere. And third, the PlayStation Network has so many RPG classics at really good prices that I almost had tears of joy in my eyes. Pick one, download it, dive in. Why didn’t I think of this earlier?
Almost all the Final Fantasy titles, Breath of Fire, Vagrant Story… all that stuff that was already so good back then that I basically never wanted to leave the house again. All PSP owners will laugh at me now because they’ve known this for years and are already bored of it, but for me an entirely new world is opening up—one so promising that I want to marry this thing on the spot!
I also picked up Persona 4 Golden, which was probably a good choice because the two Japanese schoolgirls next to me bought it too. Emotionally disturbed high school kids slaughter monsters and play basketball. Or something like that. Exactly my kind of thing. And even if Sony abandons this device before the next PlayStation comes out, I’m going to squeeze every possibility and old classic out of the PS Vita until I collapse. Well, sorry, Nintendo. I really did love you once. But Nintendo Wii U? Seriously? Nah. Thanks. Bye.