Worship the Penis!
Because genitalia—both primary and secondary—are, as is well known, something incredibly fascinating in every culture, we set off last weekend for Kawasaki in Japan to attend the annual Kanamara Matsuri, the infamous Penis Festival! And we were not disappointed.
At the otherwise rather idyllic and quiet Kanayama Shrine, right next to the local train station, thousands of people gather every year on the first Sunday in April to pay homage to the steel phallus. With thundering rock music, lollipops in the familiar shape, and a gigantic parade through the streets of the colorful city, in which costumed participants carry enormous penis statues while performing various traditional rituals.
While Christine rode giant wooden phalluses—causing the noses of numerous older gentlemen with DSLR cameras to nearly bleed—and carved questionable sculptures out of turnips, I flirted with transvestites in Sailor Moon costumes before washing down a few octopus balls with beer after all the commotion.
We had already feared that the hype surrounding this event might be nothing more than the visual embodiment of impotence, fueled by ever more outrageous verbal legends. But thanks to the benevolent weather gods and plenty of cheerful locals and tourists, we can recommend the Kanamara Matsuri to anyone who feels like praying for fertility, health, and love—while licking a lollipop with a strawberry-shaped glans.