North Korea’s Target No. 1
It’s been two weeks now that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un went totally crazy and declared war to anything with a heartbeat. First he wanted to set South Korea on fire, then he dissed the United States and yesterday he announced, his target No. 1 is Tokyo. That’s where I live. And now two nuclear missiles are facing right into my direction. Hello, nuclear missiles!
The truth is: no one here is really afraid, that these missiles could hit us with a wall of fire and turn us into screaming shadows within a millisecond. Wow, just think a second about, what I just said. Japan deployed missile defenses in Ichigaya. That’s in the middle of Tokyo and you can see a photo of the Ministry of Defense, where they are waiting for an North Korean attack, right above. I took it today. Unfortunately I wasn’t allowed to take of a picture of those big missile defenses by myself, but together with a curious couple I was able to catch a glimpse of the machines trough the heavily guarded fence.
I mean, we all know that North Korea is no real threat. At least I hope so. You read in the news, that the United States don’t take the North Korean nuclear missile capability very serious and before anything could hit us, it would be destroyed somewhere over the sea, but you feel the hair-trigger situation quite everywhere in the city.
Just a few hours ago a Japanese official mistakenly announced the launch of a North Korean missile instead of sending an alert about a strong earthquake near Kobe. And that means: Every wrong move could lead to a nuclear war. And I’m right in the middle. And I’m laughing. Like everyone here does. Because we don’t know what to do otherwise.
When I was younger I lay awake thinking about an upcoming Zombie apocalypse. And it was fun. What would I do, where would I go, what would I take with me? It was an adventure in my head. Over and over again. This sound, could it be a zombie? Wow, scary! Hehe, hello sweet dreams… But now it’s different somehow.
The last couple of days I couldn’t sleep, because I was obsessed with one thought: What, if some kind of airraid alarm would suddenly shrill, because crybaby Kim Jong-un got angry, since he fell against his bigger brother in Street Fighter II? Get this fuckin’ weapons started!,
he shouts at one of his tired looking officers. And there I am, right in the trajectory of two nuclear missiles. Because Mr. Dictator has a bad day. Hello, nuclear missiles! Again…
What would I do, where would I go, what would I take with me? Would I try to get into the next shelter? But aren’t these only for earthquakes? I could also steal a bike and try to go as fast as I can. Or run? How many seconds, minutes, hours do Taepodong-2 missiles require until they hit Tokyo anyway? Could I get one more coffee from the Konbini nearby?
Perhaps I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hey, did you hear the sad story of Marcel? He was hit by a nuclear missile after this crazy guy in North Korea went totally bananas and tried to bomb Disneyland. What a douche.
It’s been two weeks now that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un went totally crazy and declared war to anything with a heartbeat. And either he finds another target in the next couple of days—or it could get a little bit hot in here.