Marcel Winatschek

Say the Magic Words, Collect Your Drugs

Somewhere in the McDonald’s drive-through chain of command, someone figured out that I’d like a toy with that was a better code phrase than anything a spy movie ever invented. Customers who knew the words got their order handed over at the next window, nestled between the fries and the Chicken McNuggets, as if the Happy Meal had finally reached its logical conclusion.

Honestly? Respect. The McFlurry machine is always broken, but apparently the clandestine pharmaceutical logistics ran without a hitch. There’s something almost poetic about the fact that the most reliable thing in fast food turned out to be the illegal part. If any employee at a German location is reading this: please forward the full list of magic phrases. I have follow-up questions about the McRib.