For Your Safety, the Nazis Would Like to Know Exactly Where You Live

There’s a level of brazenness that wraps all the way around and becomes almost abstract. A far-right party in Dortmund called Die Rechte—The Right, in case the branding wasn’t clear enough—submitted a formal request to the city council asking how many Jewish residents are registered in the city and where they live. The stated reason: public safety.

Their Facebook post explained it with the kind of contorted sincerity that gives you a headache: they were simply concerned for the wellbeing of their fellow citizens, worried that proxy conflicts from the Middle East might spill over onto German soil, and wanted a municipal analysis to understand how many people might be potentially at risk. Ruhrbarone, a regional news outlet, covered it. Die Rechte complained the coverage was sensationalist.

I genuinely don’t know whether to laugh or just sit quietly with the weight of it. There’s something almost impressively stupid about the whole thing—the logic so contorted it eats itself. But underneath the stupidity is the oldest inventory list in European history, being drawn up again by people who would insist they’re doing you a favor. The logic hasn’t changed in eighty years. Only the phrasing has been updated for council submission format.

Tomorrow the Islamic State will champion gender equality. The day after, Russian officials will march for LGBTQ rights. Next week the two Koreas will share a warm embrace. Progress everywhere. What a time to be alive.