Marcel Winatschek

The Same Letter to Santa, Every Year, Written in My Best Handwriting

It’s mid-November, and I know what that means. Anyone who starts in on the Christmas talk this early deserves a continuous loop of "Last Christmas" until their brain gives out. I know this. And yet here I am, already composing the list.

Everyone else wants a PlayStation. A nice sweater. World peace, if they’re feeling ambitious. Me, I’ve had one item on my list for years, written in careful script on gold-bordered paper and mailed north with genuine conviction: I want Kate Upton.

Watch the video from her first Sports Illustrated shoot back in 2011 and tell me this is an unreasonable wish. The way she laughs. The way she moves. She’s completely at ease with herself in a way that most people never manage, at any age. There’s something almost unfair about it. I’ve been putting in reasonably good behavior for years—mostly, anyway—and all I’m asking for is this one thing. Santa has fulfilled worse requests. I refuse to stop believing.