Raw Evidence for the Prosecution

We are a nature documentary airing on the wrong channel. Over here, people are arguing over territory. Over there, someone’s been camped outside an Apple Store for a week. Around the corner, a man is eating as many hot dogs as physically possible while three blocks away someone goes hungry. The sheer range of human behavior is genuinely impressive if you step back far enough and turn the sound off.

Just when you’ve convinced yourself we might be trending upward—morally, intellectually, as a project—something like Meat Beat surfaces. Women hitting each other with raw animal carcasses, because there is apparently a fetish for this and someone had both the conviction and the production budget to document it. It made me blush, which at this point in my life takes some doing.

If watching it gives you certain feelings your girlfriend flat-out refuses to accommodate, try sitting her down in front of it first. She might be open to the beef situation if you stop lobbying for anal every time you get bored. That’s what compromise looks like. The foundation of all lasting relationships.