Emily Wins Today

Sometimes I open two tabs and just sit there. Emily Ratajkowski or Kate Upton. I go back and forth—the eyes, the hair, the particular way each of them exists in front of a camera—and I can’t land anywhere. Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit coverage has a way of generating this specific paralysis: photographs that look both completely real and entirely impossible, bodies on perfect beaches, the light doing exactly what it’s supposed to, the sea behind them glinting like the backdrop of a dream you’re vaguely embarrassed to recall.

The comparisons aren’t really rational. It’s not a spreadsheet. I go back and forth on different things at different times of day and the answer keeps shifting. Emily’s dark eyes against Kate’s particular kind of American blondeness. Both entirely unfair to the concept of fairness.

Today Emily wins. I couldn’t fully explain why and it probably won’t hold by tomorrow. Kate will take it back by the weekend. I’m at peace with the uncertainty.