The Correct Solution to Having Nothing to Wear

You know the feeling. Standing in your underwear in front of an open closet, staring at more clothes than you’ll ever need, completely unable to choose. Normal people spend twenty minutes on it, land on something, and leave the house. Some people stand there for forty-five minutes and end up wearing the first thing they touched anyway.

Miley Cyrus, performing in Milwaukee, apparently reached that same impasse and took the only logical exit: told the closet to go fuck itself and walked straight onto the stage in her underwear. No deliberation. No compromise. Clean decision, packed arena.

I’ve thought about this since, and I genuinely can’t find the flaw in the logic. If the audience is there for you, they’re there for you—what you’re wearing is theatre anyway. Miley has always understood that the performance is the whole thing, that the person and the spectacle are the same object. Walking out in just underwear isn’t a stunt. It’s just consistent. She’s been saying the same thing for years; she just ran out of wardrobe to say it with.